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The Next Big Thing

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Proprietor: A completely authentic purveyor of fine lineamants and balms for the wounded soul. This product is guaranteed to cure all boils and pestilence, is a certified vermifuge and blood tonic. It sets to right all nervous troubles and dyspetic conditions. It is compounded of the finest east-indian cobra venom and a secret mixture of mystical herbs and essences. It is guaranteed 100 per cent authentic by the Herbal Bitters Medicine Company (tm) and the Kickapoo Elders. It contains the distilates of electricity and of the aether, the quintessence, recipe as provided in the twelve keys of Basil Valentine. A most wondrous pain destroying compound to be applied externally in the treatment of rheumatism, neuralgia, sciatica, lame back, lumbago, toothace, sprains , swellings, and excess of black bile. Accept no imitations.

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